23rd July

He walks away, the sun goes down, he takes the day.

Went to bed feeling hungry last night, woke up only a lb and a half lighter.. bit disappointing but at least i've lost.

Boyfriend came in at 5am this morning, he was staying at his mates house but said he'd come to mine on way home, when he got here I asked why he'd left at that random time and he said that some girls came over and one of them was all over him and when he went to bed she followed him and got in the bed with him, started hugging him etc and he felt uncomfortable because HER BOYFRIEND was downstairs so he left and came to mine. I know he was trying to be faithful by leaving but still pisses me off, I HATE some of his friends their such dickheads - they proberly sent the girl in his bed in the first place! Some girls are such whores. Me and my friend call them type of girls 'dogs', the type of girls that don't give a shit if the guy is married or has a girlfriend, they'll still throw themselfs at your boyfriend. Whores.

Intake today I've had a fruit smoothie (2 strawberrys, 3 peices of mango, 8 grapes, water) and I'm not eating food til 4pm when I'll have a couple of rice crackers (2ocals per one) with tzatziki dip (50cals). I'm really worried I'm going to have to eat tonight. It's my cousins birthday, and if I go to hers there'll proberly be a bbq. I should resist it yes but my dads bbqing is TOO good. Also going to meet up with my best mate and have a couple of drinks. I'll want to get drunk as always. There is 500cals in an average bottle of rose wine so i'm thinking I'm just have half a bottle, and keep my calories today under 100 then I should be ok. But knowing me I'll have the whole bottle..

I need to keep loosing, I can't afford to stay the same anymore.